Got up early to make a nice Christmas breakfast for the family...
Stepped into the bathroom, turned on the shower, took a peek out of the blinds at the beautiful sunrise and saw...a furry black face looking back at me! AHHH! What in the world was THAT? For a second, I thought it was my old black dog Mackie -- but he died last year -- this Ghost of Christmas Past has gone a little too far!
I peeked out again and saw the big black face of a cow! or maybe it was a bull -- but it was definitely a creature of bovine descent. He looked at me, then went back to non-chalantly eating the grass by my back steps. I knew my husband wanted to get a beef cow...was this my Christmas present? Really, I would have been happy with the veggie steamer! I put my robe and slippers back on, and my coat and went outside.
"Well, Merry Christmas Mr. Big Black Bull!"
He didn't answer. He was very, very big. Huge. I opted to stay at the top of the stairs.
Hmmmm, now what was I going to do with a cow on my doorstep on Christmas morning. I have the beginnings of an enviable manger scene...
Maybe I had too much Oberweis Eggnog last night. I'm seeing cows in the yard.
My glorious nativity vision was interrupted by my neighbor furiously riding his 4-wheeler across the field toward my house.
"Don't worry Trish...I'll get him!!!!"
But the bull had other plans. He apparently planned to spend the holiday in my barn. He had no intention of being home for Christmas.
I said to my neighbor "What did you do? Give him a lump of coal in his stocking? He obviously doesn't want to go home with you!"
My neighbor wasn't in the mood for humor.
Then Mr. Bull got mad. He started trotting around the yard, this way and that, mocking the man who was yelling at him to go home.
Suddenly, from off in the distance coming at a full gallop is the Lone Ranger a.k.a. Bob my other neighbor. His horse is running like the wind and Bob is taking full advantage of the moment to actually use his lasso FOR REAL and bring this wayward bull home!
The bull obviously thought this was all part of the game and took off running. John Wayne, er, I mean Bob, is yelling to me to stand at the end of the driveway so Mr. Bull doesn't run out into the road -- oh Heavens, he might get hit by the ONE car a day that drives by...So in my slippers and coat I obediently guard the end of the driveway.
Next arrives Bob's wife in her mud boots and jacket and flowery flannel nightgown. I think she forgot to watch "What NOT To Wear To A Christmas Morning Cattle Run" because her flowery flannel was totally inappropriate. At least I was wearing my red nightgown with the little white snowflakes, which matched my red reindeer socks and white slippers. It's important to be occasion-appropriate, especially on Christmas! I was also wearing my old brown coat -- you know, the one that looks like I skinned my neighbor's old mare, and I was afraid he might notice that my coat looks vaguely familiar, but thankfully all the ranchers were quite pre-occupied.
The next attendee to this early morning holiday party was our other neighbor who (I think) just came out to show off his new Lincoln pick-up truck. I knew he would never take that new truck into that muddy field! But it did look good out there perched and ready for action...it would have made a nice commercial...or a classic Funniest Home Video -- one or the other!
Cowboy Bob finally roped the runaway fugitive (after about an hour!) and he quietly led him home. I thought the party ended just a bit too soon, but maybe everybody had other stuff to do...
So....how was YOUR Christmas????
